If Only You Knew
by taylorcullenforever
Summary: Bella and Edward have known each since Bella's birth. They were joined at the hip till 13 when they're relationship turned serious. But now at 16, Bella's hiding something. Something that will crush her and Edward. It all becomes too much till one night.
1. Like You

This is an Edward and Bella story. YAY! Here's the summary:

_If Only You Knew-- AU, AH, All Human -- Bella and Edward grew up together, first meeting the day Bella was born 3 months after Edward. They were joined at the hip through childhood and only did their relationship turn into something entirly different when they were thirteen. As Bella and Edward turn to each other and spend most of their time together, Bella keeps a secret to herself. One that would crush not only Edward, but herself. Bella's secret and true feelings lurk under the surface until one night changes everything. _

Now this chapter says "THEN" which means this is memories between Bella and Edward before their age right now--which is 16 (i changed the age). So when a chapter says THEN it means i'm going back in time. Writing chapters from their childhood together.

Some chapters will say NOW which means it's actually happening. Edward and Bella are 16 and what's happening is actually happening. Hope this makes sense!

-taylorcullenforever

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1

**If Only You Knew**

**Chapter One:**

**Like You**

**Song: More by Tyrone Wells**

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

THEN

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The house is buzzing with life. Mom is running from room to room, voice snapping at Dad who was putting up the streams wrong. I sit in a lonely chair in the dining room, feet kicking the legs as I let the excitement build in my gut. Today is Edward's birthday, along with mine. Despite the fact that Edward's three months older than I am, we both agreed that we would enjoy it best if we had ours on the same day.

Edward was cooped up in his bedroom, forbidden to come down. Mom, Dad, Carlisle, and Esme are quickly wrapping up Edward's presents. Since I'd had so many they hadn't had time to deal with Edward's. They cut, wrap, tape, before placing them one by one on the balloon infested table cover. I smile as Mom deals with Lydia—my new baby sister—who's relaxing in a baby sling. I steady myself on the table, hands smoothing over everything in awe.

Our parents are really overdoing things. When Esme starts shouting at Carlisle to take care of the food in the kitchen, I decide it's time to go check on Edward. Our front yard connects directly to Edward's; our houses practically on each other's land. I hop over to the front door, turning the handle before slipping my shoes off and leaving them beside the wall. I can hear Edward playing video games from above his room, booms and robotic sounds filling the house.

I slip up the stairs, trying to take two at a time. I fail miserably, stopping before I busted my head open. Edward's uncle—Aro, was using the room right before Edward's. I thought his name was a little too funny for my taste, yet his eyes never failed to scare the living day lights out of you. Aro's door was open, cold air blowing out from a fan he had going. I held my breath as I passed, not letting myself glance at him.

"Hey, loser," I said, jumping into a beanbag beside Edward. He held the controller to his PS2 tightly in his hands, moving with it as he blasted an airplane from the air, sending it plummeting into the ocean.

"What's going on down there?" he asks, turning off the game to look at me. I shrug, wriggling my toes against his carpet, which is much softer than mine. I peak at Edward who's staring at me in a way I can't describe, and don't really understand in the first place. We're both 13 today, I think, wondering if he's thinking the same thing.

"Nothing. They're just putting up streams, wrapping all your presents, cooking." Edward's eyes sparkle when I mention the presents. That's one thing I can't help but love about Edward. His deep green eyes that belong to neither his mother or father. They were bright, crisp, and endless. Yet when he was happy they sparkled with the intensity that could blind you.

"What kind of presents am I getting?" he asks, leaning toward me.

"Nope. I'm not saying." Mom and Dad would kill me if I told Edward he was getting a puppy for his birthday or getting a Wii—which he'd been pleading for. I felt slightly bad for having seen all the things he was getting and not telling him. I understood how he felt—restless because of all the presents just waiting for us.

I stood up to go back over to my house. Edward followed my lead; acting like nothing was going on till I was directly in front of his bed—reaching toward the door. His body tackled mine, pushing me down on the comforter till his fingers were able to locate my sides. He tickled me with such ferocity that I screamed and squirmed from how much it tickled yet hurt.

"Say uncle! Say uncle!" Edward yelled out, on top of me.

"Uncle!" I screamed as his fingers stilled, coming around my back to wrap around me. He lay against me, head on my stomach as I wondered what he was doing. My fingers brushed through the hair at the crown on his head. Still bright blonde like it had been when he was five. He pushed himself up, sitting on the floor before beckoning me over.

I sat next to him, hands rubbing against my sides to relieve the pain that still zapped. I took a glance out of the window, staring in at my house through the open window. I could see Carlisle trying to situate a cheese platter, placing crackers in circles. Edward saw this and laughed, shaking his head.

"Let's play truth or dare," I say.

"Fine. Truth or dare?" I think about this for a second before answering.

"Truth." He smiles.

"Out of all the guys at our school, whom would you do it with?" I swat him on the arm, giggling at he just pulls me toward him so he can kiss me on the cheek.

"Dare." I say, hoping he lets me change it.

"Okay, go into my parents bedroom." He only does to me because we're forbidden to enter his parents or my parent's bedrooms. "And bring me something so I know you actually went in." I scatter into the hallway, pushing open his parent's room to find it oddly comforting. The beds a cream while the walls are painted a deep red. On the nightstand is his mother's favorite clip; one she wore every other day. My fingers clasped around it as I tiptoed my way back. Just in case Aro was watching me and decided to tell we were sneaking around doing God-knows-what.

Edward laughs when I hold the clip out of him. He takes it and I sit down.

"Truth or dare?" I ask.

"Truth."

"Who do you think is the prettiest girl at our school?" I'm hoping he says me but I'm also expecting him to say Rosalie Hale who has breasts the size of grapefruits and curves that make any boy fall to his knees.

"Dare," he says, shaking his head. I sigh, trying to think of something good. He glances at me expectantly. At that moment I wonder what it would be like to kiss him, to really kiss him. Not a peck on the cheek, but our lips together. Without knowing it I've said it out loud.

"What?" He asks, eyes wide.

"Kiss me." He blushes for a moment, wringing his hands. It's just a kiss, nothing to get all crazy about. His hand grasps my chin, titling my head up towards him as he leans in. Our lips meld together. Edward's lips are big and pout-y and are as soft as they really look. We pull back and look at one another.

"What did you think?" I ask.

"I thought gross at first," he says. I nod to keep from embarrassing myself.

"Totally."

"But then I thought, wow."

"Wow," I say, giving the word a try. It matches just fine.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Go say hi to Aro." My stomach clenches with fear. Why did I have to go pick dare? But it is a good one. Neither Edward nor I have ever talked to Aro, let alone have been left alone with him in a room.

Aro is lounging on the bed, feet up, his small TV playing. He takes one glance at me before smiling.

When I come back into the room, Edward stares warily at me.

"What took you so long?"

"He wanted to talk." I say, shrugging.

"Just talk?"

"Yeah," I say, watching as he rubs my shoulders with the hands of a man.

"Then why are you shaking?"

"No reason." I say, squirming away.

"Kids! Come on, it's time!" My mom calls, the front door slamming shut. Edward opens his mouth to talk but I grab his hand, pulling him out of the house and over to our party. All the while trying to convince myself that I had told him the truth.

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What do you think? Review and let me know!

REVIEWS = LOVE

-taylorcullenforever


	2. A Rush Of Blood To The Head

HUGE THANKS to my beta R.M.J Lennixx who's thoughts on each chapter (she betas) mean more to me than anything!

P.S This chapter is a **"NOW"** one, takes place now while Edward and Bella are 16.

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2

**If Only You Knew**

**Chapter Two:**

**A Rush Of Blood To The Head**

**Song: Haunted by Evanescence**

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

**NOW**

_Long lost words whisper slowly,_

_To me,_

_Still can't find what keeps me here,_

_When all this time I've been so hallow,_

_Inside,_

_(I know you're still there)_

***~*~*~*~*~*~*~***

The Bed – Edward's lips are everywhere, sparkling fire in me like lightening from the sky that strikes down onto the earth. Except something's off. I smile when he kisses atop my navel, the flesh rising to form sprinkled goosebumps.

"You're so beautiful," he says, hands coming down. I stare up at the ceiling, the feeling of his fingers sinking into the wetness of me, clawing deep. He mumbles something unintelligible, my underwear sweeping across my thighs, pulling at my knees as Edward takes the final plunge.

I look around his room, staring at the pictures of us plastered to the wall. The one from the trip to the lake when we were ten, one from the carnival at age twelve, and one playing in the mud at age five. I smile at them; glad they're there to remind me and Edward of how it used to be. How things used to be so easy, how we just _were_.

Edward would most likely not agree with me if I told him our newly formed relationship hadn't turned out like I thought it would. That, us, in this binding form was scarier than anything. I used to wonder a lot as a kid what it would be to date Edward. My heart tumbling around in my body at the thought of him being mine. Edward, at the age of five, as was already mine. We were bonded together by our parents, by fate. My mother told me over and over that us being together had been long awaited for.

There was only one thing that kept my mom and me somewhat close. How similar we were. We were both out at sea, feet plopping against a plank of glass that was the only thing holding us up. She didn't know this but we were so alike, floating around in search for something more. She didn't know it, and she would not understand me. If I told her how I really felt, how I really saw things. I think it would break her heart to tell her that Edward—was more than I'd asked for.

Edward's fingers snaked around my knees. I gazed up at him from under my lashes. As if I'd said something, his head snapped up. Tongue poking out to lick his lips, he gazed hard at me. His eyes swirling with the colors of a tortured soul—emerald turning almost black. I force my eyes closed, fingers trailing along the soft skin of his forearms. I hear him groan, urging open my legs. And I can't help but remember…

"You like that don't you?" his fingers propel themselves within me. I writhe, heat trickling fluidly into the pit of my stomach.

Edward moans out at what he sees, diving down to feel all that he can. Black dots my vision, panic pounding against my skull. Edward's body shifts as he positions himself better in front of me. The bed creaks loudly, bringing me back to reality. Where I feel the exact opposite of what I'm supposed to. My screams of warning scrape through my head like sliding across the floor so hard it leaves strips of angry, red carpet-burn.

_His hands big, warm, stiff,_

_The smell of man and peppermint,_

_The shape of his mouth,_

_Tightening around my skin._

I'm gasping, air stirring brutally inside my lungs. My hair whips at my face as I shake my head. Mouth burning dry. I mouth words that topple onto my stomach, with no place to go. Dead and unnoticed. Edward's heat adds to mine, a fever breaking out that I can't sweat away. When Edward's tongue wriggled inside my opening, I swear I was going to have a meltdown. Tears formed, however they didn't fall—no matter how many times I blinked.

_His deep voice like sand paper,_

_Pleading me to follow through,_

_Demanding a release that I simply,_

_Could not give._

When Edward lays himself upon me, chest heaving against mine, it felt as if he was a butterfly that had landed in the palm of my mind. Delicate, light, and small. A cold sweat broke out across my entire body, making me shiny and luscious.

"Stop," I mumbled, voice wavering I hardly understood myself. Edward dips low, teeth pulling my lips into his steaming mouth. My chest tightens to the point it hurts and I'm scared now.

_Hands against my soft stomach._

When his hands spread slowly across the heaving plane of my stomach I yelp.

"Stop!" I say, hands finding his chest. I push with all my might. Edward rises up and looks at me, hurt written across his features. I open my mouth to say something and when nothing comes out I crawl away from him. After a moment he clucks his tongue before settling me into his arms.

"I just can't." I say, because there is no other explanation.

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A/N: This chapter was extremely short but i conveyed the emotion i wanted in this, and found it very hard to write.

Review and tell me what you were feeling, what you thought while reading this. It's helpful!

I should be updating soon, for i can't seem to stay away from this story.

I will be updating Breathe You Out, Breathe You In soon, i've already written half the chapter.

REVIEWS = LOVE

-taylorcullenforever


	3. The End

Hi, Everyone.

I Am Done Writing Fanfiction Stories Or Beta(ing). For Good.

I Found What I Was Looking For.

**I'm In Love.**

So I'm Giving Up Fanfiction.

It Was Great While It Lasted.

Bye

:)

-Taylor


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